Top 9 Emotional Issues You'll Deal With When Moving Your Elder to a Nursing Home

Hopefully you are never faced with a decision that far too many are. Those who are forced to deal with the terrible nursing home placement decision normally do so for one of several reasons:

Your elder becomes too frail to live at home on their own

Your elder becomes too confused with his or her surroundings and become a danger to themselves

Your elder suddenly has become violent with others - striking out at them for no apparent reason

Your elder has just had a major medical issue that requires full time care

Having to make a sudden decision on a nursing homes for a loved one can easily be one of the most difficult decisions a person will have to face in their entire life. One way to help with this situation is to make a plan for such an possibility far in advance of ever needing to make such a decision. This way, even if you are faced with an urgent situation, you'll be able to refer to the plan you put together that was based on sound judgment and plenty of research, rather than letting your emotions drive the decision. Any plan should be discussed with your elder and should adhere to their wishes as closely as possible.

Unfortunately, even if you have a plan, you are very likely to run into several significant emotional issues when the time comes to finalize long term nursing home care. You certainly won't be alone in this situation - any caring person will run into at least some of these feelings. Hopefully by knowing what you will expect when or if the day ever comes, you'll be better prepared to deal with these emotions.

1. A strong sense of relief

Now that you don't have to worry about the responsibility of caring for your elder, you'll likely feel a strong sense of relief.

2. Guilt

Once your feelings of relief begin to subside, feelings of guilt will likely set in - because you feel relieved.

3. Selfishness

You'll feel selfish because you are looking forward to your life returning to normal.

4. Self-reproach

Because you were not able to live up to the promise you made to your elder that they would never have to live in a home.

5. Remorse

Because you feel that you abandoned your elder.

6. Embarrassment

You'll feel embarrassed that you couldn't afford a better nursing home than the one that your elder ended up in.

7. Anger

That the costs of long term nursing home care are such a financial drain - on your or your elder's finances.

8. Fear

That the nursing home administrator will call you one day and tell you that you need to take your elder home because things aren't working out at the nursing home for any number of reasons.

9. Guilt

If #8 happens, you'll feel guilty because you don't want to bring your elder home to live with you.

It's very important to realize that all of these emotions are completely natural. It's also important to realize that having to place your loved on in a nursing home is not your fault and is something that simply can't be avoided. The later years in life can be very cruel to both elderly folks and family members alike - and none of us have a choice in the matter. You simply have to do the best that you can to deal with your emotions and not let them interfere with what's best for both you and your elder.