Elder Care Facilities and Children

Bringing children to visit grandparents in an elder care, assisted living, or similar residence is not only a valuable experience for everyone, but recommended. Many residents of elder care facilities feel isolated from the outside world. Visits from their grandchildren or great-grandchildren often brighten their days as well as those of many of the residents who live in the facility.

Before the First Visit

Don't take your children to visit Grandma or Grandpa until he or she settles into their new place. It may take a few days or even a few weeks for some elderly residents to get used to their new homes, so it's best to wait until then. You also want to talk to your children about where their grandparent lives.

Explain that some people who live there are lonely and don't have anyone to visit them, so they will be very happy to see some young faces. You can also read one of the many children's books available on the topic or if they are old enough, sit down and honestly explain what the facility is like. Tell them they may see residents in wheelchairs or with walkers, the building may have unfamiliar smells and they may come in contact with unresponsive residents.

Some general guidelines to consider before visiting an elder care facility with children include:

• Planning the visit in advance; you may need to check with facility to find out if/when children can visit


• Scheduling your visit during off-times such as mid-morning (9:30-11:30 a.m.), mid-afternoon (1:30-4:30 p.m.) and sometimes in the early evening (6-7:30 p.m.)


• Making sure you don't visit during a scheduled activity or when your loved one is at a doctor's appointment

On Visiting Day

The day of your child's first visit to an elder care facility is exciting. Make sure you bring quiet and small toys or other items to occupy your children and don't visit during their meal or nap times. Consider visiting after he or she eats and is well-rested. Other things to consider are:

• Talking to your children about being quiet and not running around as some residents may not take well to loud noises or sudden and quick moves from children


• Telling them what parts of the facility are off-limits such as offices, other residents' rooms or apartments, restrooms without your consent, etc.


• Reiterating that some residents may have memory impairments or other ailments that cause their unresponsiveness


• Be sure to talk to your children about being quiet and not running around as some residents may not take well to loud noises or sudden and quick moves from children


• Telling them what parts of the facility are off-limits such as offices, other residents' rooms or apartments, restrooms without your consent, etc.


• Reiterating that some residents may have memory impairments or other ailments that cause their unresponsiveness


• Remembering not to overstay your welcome. Especially on first visits, children may not last a long time without getting fidgety or restless. Don't overwhelm the residents either by staying a long time.

Activity and Gift Ideas

If your children can bring gifts or crafts to do with their grandparent, make sure you bring enough for several residents. You don't want anyone feeling left out! Gift ideas include:

• Homemade cards


• Fresh or silk flowers


• Plants


• Allowable treats (check with caregivers ahead of time for a list)


• Colored or drawn pictures


• Small stuffed animals


• Knitted or crocheted items such as lap blankets or scarves


• Puzzles to do together


• Books to read together

Make Special Memories

Visiting an elder care facility is a valuable experience for children. It will brighten the day for many of the residents, especially the loved one living there. Make sure to take pictures and create a scrapbook of the visit. It will be something the grandparent and child will value and remember for a long time.