Discussing issues regarding assisted living or long-term care services, home safety, personal finances, personal hygiene requirements and funeral arrangements is not an easy conversation to have but it is an important one if you want to help your loved ones ease into successful retirement options. When implementing the changes it must leave your loved one feeling that their dignity is intact, they still have the freedom to make their own choices and are actively participating in the process.
These issues are becoming more and more relevant because Canada Statistics is showing the senior population is growing at a rapid pace with 25% of our population being in the 70+-age range by the year 2016. What this means is many of us will be finding ourselves in the position of dealing with these issues while balancing current workloads and family responsibilities.
In talking with seniors, they too feel the inadequacy of not being able to do as much as they used too. They recognize they have a hard time asking for assistance because they do not want to be a burden. They feel embarrassed about the betrayal of loss of their bodily functions and the awkwardness of receiving help in ways they used to do in raising their children. They know they need help but feel most uncomfortable asking for it. After all, they have been the leaders and doers for most of our lives and taking a step back is not easy to do. The fear of loss of dignity weighs heavy on the heart.
So how can you assist your loved one with the least amount of emotional turmoil and the greatest level of success? Remain focused on the importance of your loved ones need to maintain their dignity, independence, and need to participate when exploring the available options of home health care.
Ask your loved one what they think they need, how much they need and when they think they will be needing it in order to help them to retain their dignity. Great listening skills and repeating back what you have heard is a very important and a special gift you can give them. The rewards, in the long term, will be open lines of communication.
It is vital to understand that the moment we come out of the womb we embark on our life long road of independence. The aging process attempts to remove this from us creating emotions of depression and fear. Each of us gains our sense of self worth from the tasks and activities we are able to accomplish. Maintaining this, even on a small scale, is very important to good mental health and maintaining a semblance of dignity. Ask your loved ones what they feel they can still do, how much of it they can do, and what assistance they would feel comfortable with to maintain their independence. Add your own concerns, based upon observations, and work together on a plan to resolve all challenges in the most effective manner.
Finally, have your loved ones participate in the role of their own care to the level they can manage. They may not be able to make an entire meal but maybe they can still sit at a table and assist in the preparations. They may not be able to lift heavy boxes but they can still direct where they want the boxes to go. They may not be able to walk a marathon but maybe a walk in the park or simply up and down the driveway to retrieve the mail is still manageable.
Maintaining strong social interactions and the awareness in their own abilities is critical in maintaining strong mental health. Learning to do for our loved ones only what is needed, not what they can still do for themselves, removes their fear of loss of control. This will go a long way to helping loved ones in maintaining personal independence for as long a time as possible.
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