Reflections of Suicide

Suicide is a somber topic, but one that needs to be addressed in these stressful times. The purpose of this article is to offer a new perspective on suicide to those of you who had been affected in some way by this unfortunate event.

I was raised Roman Catholic. At an early age we were taught that people who committed suicide "slapped God in the face" and resided in purgatory, a "half-way" house for souls. Those who committed suicide were not allowed to be buried in the Catholic cemetery. As students of St. Mary's Catholic School, we prayed everyday for those "lost souls," because if they received enough prayers, they could then be released from their limbo.

As an intuitive, I knew better. Throughout my Catholic upbringing, I fortunately had my guides clarifying information I received from the priests and the nuns almost as soon as they spoke--sometimes before. I also was blessed with an Aquarian mother, and we all know Aquarians beat to a different drummer and often question authority (in my Mom's case it was the Church). I knew of a life review instead of "God's judgment" long before I helped clients comprehend near death experiences.

Years ago I was in Chicago speaking on the topic of color, and as I normally do, I pick a few people from the crowd and answer questions. If a loved one has passed and is with them in spirit, I will offer a message. There was a young woman with a brother "on the other side." He was very adamant about giving her a message so he caught my eye; I pointed her out and asked if she did indeed have a brother on the other side? Her face turned ashen and tears began. (I was also a little perturbed at the brother for not warning me of the impending emotional outburst.)

The young woman was raised Catholic, and her brother had committed suicide. She had felt for years that he was either in hell or trapped in purgatory. The shock of having him by her side and my telling her he was happy was a bit hard for her to take. Her paradigm was shifted, and the reality of a loving, compassionate God took its place. Likewise, it opened an hour-long discussion on suicide and the repercussions of taking one's own life.

I help clients understand suicide by explaining my standpoint as a former university professor. Think of your life lessons, or contract, in this classroom called "earth" in terms of an "academic load" at a college of your choice.

When my older son recently went through college freshman orientation, these wonderful young adults, chatting away, eager to sign up for courses reminded me of my years spent as an academic advisor. During that time, I had many students sitting in front of me trying to convince me that they can handle 21 credit hours in one semester! Then they would shift to 18 credit hours--and STILL get a "no" from me. When starting out, they are eager and can rationalize the hours and the workload (and try to second-guess the professors), but it catches up with them after about six weeks and BOOM!--there is a crash. "Eager" is the key word here. Suicide victims are on overload. Suicides take on too many credit hours and become overwhelmed. It is an overload of life lessons, ending with a crash. They feel the only way out is to end their pain through death. Of course, there are complications to the act of suicide, but it is really about learning and teaching life lessons.

There are those that are in despair and cry for help. When they die, they go through the same death process as any other soul. They are around us for a while after they have transitioned. They understand and learn from the pain created by their act. They understand what they taught during their life on this earth and what they taught through their exit. They process the emotions left behind. Yes, they attend their own funeral, like all souls that pass, and are aware of any grief they have caused. They also know the lessons they have facilitated due to their living, as well as their passing.

How we exit is a choice in itself. It is our own free will. The lessons taught to others by our choice of exits are as purposeful and powerful as the way we choose to live our life. The keyword here is "choice."

There are those that maliciously choose to end their life in order to instill guilt and pain upon others. They, too, have their life and death review and their own lessons to process. It is not for us to judge them in human terms. Perhaps you contracted to learn forgiveness or learn about the human emotion of guilt, and they were facilitating that lesson. Again, the lesson is about letting go of the pain, the guilt, the anguish, because that is the answer to, "Why did they do it?" For all of us to learn something, it may take a "God Minute" to understand the reasons, but eventually we will comprehend the meaning.

Some suicides are actually accidental. Many years ago, someone on the other side communicated to me that he wanted to contact his grieving mother. He referred to his death as an "accidental suicide" because he knew better than to leave his van running, but thought he could stay warm a little while longer. He fell asleep and died. Many of us can make sense of an accident, but not suicide. In the end, it is all a matter of choice.

Assisted suicide is a cultural taboo. We humans cannot assist someone in their death. Even the medical profession can attempt to take away the pain, but not invite death. We can offer support and comfort through prayer, thereby giving the dying energy to use however they choose. Many linger because of fear. In many cases, the pain can be karmic for those involved, but does not make it easier to experience or witness. Many feel it is OK to help a loved one transition when they are in physical pain, however, spiritual or psychological pain are not viewed under the same criteria.

Understanding the nature of free will choice and understanding that we have several "exit points" throughout our lives can also help us cope with suicide. We blame ourselves for not being there, being too busy, not "seeing the signs," etc. Understand that they are no longer in emotional, physical, or spiritual pain, and it is up to us to understand how their actions relate to our life lessons.

Years ago, I recall meeting a couple that had done absolutely everything for their only son. They paid for counseling and placed him in a facility to help him. They did all they could do financially until finally they did not have any more money to spend. He finally succeeded in shooting himself. They berated themselves by statements such as, "if we had only mortgaged our home" or "if we had sold everything, we could have gotten him more help. Essentially, they had done everything, but they could not accept the outcome. To add to their grief, their only daughter left the family to join the Carmelite Order, which had a strict vow of silence and solitude. Yes, in a sense, they lost another child. By being so caught up in their grief years after their losses, little had been learned by all involved. Their losses were compounded by the belief that their son was in limbo and their daughter was giving her life in the form of prayer to help him.

I feel that some of my clients have committed suicide in a previous lifetime and are back this time to finish their life lessons. Not only is it about suicides making to the other side, they generally come right back down to earth to continue their lessons after some "soul counseling" and "course adjustment." Some are even hesitant to be here again after making the eager decision to come back. Often, you can recognize these reluctant souls as they seem to carry an energy about them that says, "I don't want to be here."

As a medical intuitive, I can see a person's energy pulled to the right side of the body. Also, some physical signs, such as feet turned inward (pigeon-toed) can indicate reluctance about being on this earth. This is good to know, particularly if you are blaming yourself for someone else who is not "engaged" in his or her life. That doesn't mean that you should walk up to every pigeon-toed person you see and tell them they are a reincarnated suicide! Again, every situation is unique.

Those that contemplate suicide may find that just in waiting 24 hours brings a shift in energy, perspective, and circumstances. I have also found that understanding the metaphysical arena can be of great comfort. I myself was very depressed two years ago. My significant other encouraged me to talk to an astrologer friend of his. She did save my life, corny as it sounds. She gave me hope and explained that I was coming out of a twenty-year cycle, which would be up in May of 2009. According to her prediction, my life will be nothing but what I have foreseen, but lost sight of at the time: success, love, and joy, joy, joy! She was absolutely right.

Did things get better immediately? No. but I knew everyday was a little brighter, and one day less of the cycle I had been in. Therefore, if you are in a "funk" right now, examine your year vibration, or talk with an astrologer to understand what is happening. Look at the spiritual and metaphysical support you have, and you will get the answers you seek. The key is, you have to ask, whether it is this side of the veil or the other. Ask, and the answers will be there--guidance and help are only a thought away!