Who are Parents? The people who raised us, took care of all our needs as we grew up, making sure that we turned into good young men and women, ready to go out into the world, and make our own way. For the most part, they were successful. Most of us are on our own, making at least enough money to survive (which I admit is getting harder to do in today's economy). In some ways, they are still raising us, even after we enter middle-age, and are raising our own kids.
We still see them during the Holidays, and, if we still live close enough to them, we may see them every week. But, if you're like me, you may have slacked off a bit on keeping in touch with them. Maybe the every-day stresses of life are weighing so hard on your shoulders that you just don't even have time to think about how they are doing.
My Dad has remarried after my parent's divorce, and he and his wife have two homes; one in Gainesville, Florida (about 160 miles away from me), and one in Roscommon, Michigan (1800 miles away). They make the trip every spring and fall, taking 2 to 3 days to travel. I don't see them much, maybe a couple of times a year, including Christmas, even though it's only a three hour drive. I did make 3 weekend trips to Gainesville last spring, while Dad was recovering from some major surgery, but haven't seen them since then. We occasionally talk on the phone, but definitely not often enough.
My Mom lives just across town from me. I rarely see her either. She lives alone in a mobile home park, but has a lot of friends that she sees almost daily. She is there year-round, and she used to travel quite a bit, but not so much anymore.
I don't know why I don't visit with her more often. It's not a question of whether or not I love her. My work has me on-call 24/7, but I don't get that many after-hours calls, maybe 3 or 4 a month, so that's not it. I live with one of my sons, and work out of his garage, where I have an office set up. I have good transportation since I bought my boss's '99 Suburban. It only takes about 8 minutes to drive to her house. So, why don't I go see her more often? I really don't know. I know that I should.
So, how many of you are like me? How many of you have slacked off, even if your parent(s) live(s) close by.
How many of you have placed your Mom or Dad in an assisted living facility and don't go to see them? I should point out that this is the biggest fear of Seniors, when they are faced with the possibility of having to go live in a facility. They are afraid that you will put them in there, and then forget them. Sure, they'll have new friends to meet and play cards with, but they'll miss the people they love.
Would you take away from them the joy of watching their grand-kids grow up? Would you let them think that they are useless, and have been thrown away? Ask yourself if you would like your kids to treat you like that. Ask yourself how much invaluable wisdom your parents could share with you. And you shouldn't deny your children from having interaction with their grandparents. The ties of the family have made this country strong for a couple of hundred years, and if we totally lose that, I think this country will fall apart.
There has been a lot of talk about how we can keep our Senior Loved-Ones at home longer, and there are some in-home systems out there now that can help. These systems can provide valuable information to you about how Mom and Dad are doing. One of the best ones out there uses small, wireless motion sensors placed around the home, that keep track of their activity levels. This system was created for use in Assisted Living Facilities, but when they tried it in a residential setting, it actually proved itself invaluable in tracking the senior's activity levels, posting the info on a secure website, and automatically sensing problems early; notifying the sons and daughters when a problem first starts. This is very valuable, and much more accurate than waiting for Mom or Dad to finally admit that they're not sleeping much, or haven't been feeling too well. You can actually know about the problem before they do, in some cases.
Now, this system doesn't relieve you from visiting with your Loved-One. There is absolutely no excuse for you (or me) to not visit with them once in a while. It merely presents information to you, so you can assess what they may need. You can even give their Doctor access to the system, so that he/she can look at it for themselves.
Well, we are all going to grow old eventually. It's inevitable; a fact of life. So, let's employ the Golden Rule right now. Treat your Parents the way that you are going to want to be treated by your children. Your kids will see how you treat your Parents, and will learn from your example.
So long, for now. I'm going to call my Dad and then head over to visit with my Mom.
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