Overcome Mental Abuse

You have most probably encountered the subject of mental abuse many times and you may have even read a thing or two concerning the subject. If you are someone that has personal experience with mental abuse or any sort of abuse for that matter, then you most certainly have reason more to set aside some time and open yourself to the possibility of having a life that is absolutely free from this often well hidden secret that constantly haunts your being.

In order to be trustworthy in the matter, I shall only say for now, that I have personally experienced the excruciating pain of being mistreated and the utter degradation of surrendering before the administrator of such pain and giving them complete control over thoughts and feelings.

Depending on the severity and length of subjection to abuse, you may or may not have the much needed willpower to distance yourself from people that cause you to punish yourself. Often times, it is hard for people that are not familiar with this problem, to understand, just why does a person choose to stick with the punishment. If you take any bad habit, like smoking, alcohol and drug abuse, in each case, the person is most likely aware that indulging the habit, is indeed harmful and a unnecessary or useless part of life.

Thinking along these lines, reveals a pattern of behavior that defies rationality and that is seemingly illogical for most human beings. However, there are many smokers, drug addicts and people that are constantly abused in the world today, so where does it all begin to make sense? In order to really understand, you need to give the pattern of behavior the attention it deserves, do not undermine the power it wields and the powerful effect it has on living.

I believe that habits are one of the essential building blocks of daily life, in other words, we create habits to automate life and to put routines into blocks that the brain categorizes in order not to get bogged down with a thousand and one little details. There is some absurdity in this because if you look at it from the top, you realize that all these habits make up the largest habit of all, which is staying alive.

I am sure there are behavioral specialists who could write many books on the subject but in my effort to stay close to the subject at hand, I will only say that habits form an integral part of our life and as such, the brain by means of evolution and programming, gives them a superior level of importance, thus allowing them many times to slip the radar, even when there are clear signals of danger.

To further understand why a person tolerates mental abuse, it is key to go back to the moment where it first started. By far, the worst cases of mental abuse are those in which it starts from a young age and for a number of reasons. Children are in a phase of constant growth and their brain is in the delicate phase of laying the foundation of thought that will help them get through adulthood, not that abuse should ever be accepted but in children the consequences are more likely to be life long and devastating. Children are also less able to escape from it where as the adult will more often have a choice, even though it is quite common for many adults and especially women, to become addicted to the abuse and in turn unable to flee from it.

There are a many reasons why a a grown person may feel unable to let go and seek shelter from abuse, most certainly where there are dependencies involved. A housewife that has no personal income may allow herself to be constantly abused in order to escape the responsibility of taking complete responsibility for her life, thus being forced to earn her own living. It may be fear based, often abusive spouses will threaten with physical abuse in order to keep their stronghold of control over the other person. In such cases, the person being abused may be overcome with such fear and refuse to take a leap towards regaining control of their life.

If any of this strikes a chord with you or someone that is close to you, know that this is for the reason mentioned above, I am actually speaking this from personal experience and an understanding which I have gained through the desire to claim my own life.

Ultimately, it is a psychological problem which you need to acknowledge, pretending it is something else will not diminish its capacity or duration. There are no new methods to combat this but there are many choices, even though it may seem like there are none. The first and most obvious choice is to formally recognize that it is a real problem. You may indeed always be aware of the abuse but you may not really target it specifically, again a force of habit which creates a invisible layer that protects the habit from direct and targeted attack. I am not sure why or how but habits definitely have qualities of living things, they have life, longevity, a defense mechanism and a number of other qualities that are only visible once you begin to actively combat them.

One of the most important messages I wish to convey to you is that, if you are unable or feel drained by the lifelong effects of mental abuse, humiliation and the fear involved, begin by seeking professional help. Seek help from groups, institutions, law, family or friends. No matter how alone you may feel, know that there are always fine human beings that will hear you out and not turn away from a desperate plea. Unless you are sure to have the will to break free from an abusive person, you must seek help, no matter how difficult or embarrassing it may feel to talk to others, trust me, they will not judge, ridicule or blame you.