Neglect - A Form of Elder Abuse

When a loved one disappears from a nursing home due to neglect, it's a sign of elder abuse.

The phone rang. It was the sheriff's deputy. Martin Avadian disappeared from the nursing home.
What? Did I hear that correctly?

Only twelve hours after my father walked across the threshold into a secured nursing facility, we received the worst possible news.

What happens when your parent is missing?

After hours of searching frantically -- around the adult day care center he had attended until just days earlier, a nearby hospital, and neighboring homes, we found nothing. We stopped people to show them my father's picture... nothing. He was no where. What were we going to do?

Stricken with fear, we questioned the good deed we had done months earlier by moving my father from his Wisconsin home of 45 years into our home. Trembling, we feared he might be dead.

The phone rang. It was the deputy sheriff. They found my father in the Mojave Desert walking along the freeway in another county. He was trying to get a ride home to Milwaukee.

Did a movie scriptwriter make this up!

That night, we walked into the nursing home administrator's office.

"I don't know if we can keep your father here," she said.

What? After all that time asking questions of the staff, visiting the home at different times and days, and completing aaalllll that paperwork? NO WAY!

Although, my father was a victim of neglect (a form of abuse); we can't simply sue to solve our problems. We need to collaborate. Even when the administrator got the company attorneys involved, I reminded her that during the admission interview, the leadership assured me that the nursing home had a person at the front desk at all times to monitor comings and goings of residents; especially, after a new resident is admitted. It is even in their procedures.

The nursing home had excellent procedures in place.

The problem was they weren't following them.

As stressful as the idea was that my father could be evicted despite all the preliminary work we did to insure this was the best option for him near our home, I held my ground. They did not have a person at the front desk to notice that their newest resident (my father) was leaving with a handful of visitors that evening.

7 TIPS to Prevent Nursing Home Abuse

1. Follow-up with the staff and management. I followed up to ensure they followed their procedures -- for example, that they covered the keypad when entering the code to exit the area, so that visitors or mildly demented residents wouldn't see the code.


2. Visit often and talk with visiting families about their experiences. I learned from residents' families and well-meaning staff about others' experiences.


3. Attend all quarterly care plan meetings and support group. I gave feedback during the quarterly care conferences, even when I felt the staff wasn't listening. I also attended most of the support group meetings.


4. Remain involved.


5. Keep a current photo of your loved one handy. Keep several photos in your phone. (A picture is still worth a thousand words.)


6. Make sure your loved one wears his/her identification bracelet. My father used to wear a Safe Return bracelet. Once in the nursing home he wore their identification bracelet.


7. Keep important phone numbers handy or in your smart phone.

These seven tips will give you a solid start in preventing neglect in any care facility.