Easing the Transition to a Nursing Home

Moving to a long-term care facility can be difficult, but there are a number of steps that family members can take to ease the transition. By taking an empathetic stance and considering your loved one's emotions, you can choose actions that are both comforting and appropriate.

Fear and loss of control are two of the most common feelings among those admitted to nursing homes. To help your loved one combat those feelings, make sure that he or she is kept well-informed about what is going on. To the greatest extent possible, keep your loved one involved in the decision-making process. Where that isn't possible, offer explanations as to why things can't be done in the manner that he or she prefers. When it comes to choosing the home, make every effort to accommodate preferences, except in cases where safety could be compromised.

Feelings of anger or abandonment are not uncommon among those admitted to long-term care facilities. As with many things, when it comes to addressing feelings of those feelings, actions speak louder than words. Show your loved one that you intend to play an active role in his or her life, regardless of who takes care of the primary care duties. Visit often, and encourage other family members to do the same. If possible, make an effort to bring your loved one to family birthdays and holiday parties. The only way to alleviate feelings of abandonment is to prove that they have no merit.

Anger can be more difficult to deal with, but in most cases, the best course of action is to let it go. Just as parents understand when their teenagers proclaim their hatred for the parents, you need to understand that anger may be a necessary step for your loved one. If you continue to provide love and support, those feelings should pass in time. If they don't, a counselor or religious advisor may be able to help.

With many nursing home residents, there is a great deal of sadness. Dealing with chronic pain or illness can be a difficult reminder of things to come. Religious beliefs may be called into question, and many residents become very depressed. If a spouse has already died, the resident may feel like giving up. These are not signs of mental illness as much as they are signs of normal reactions to very difficult circumstances.

Instead of trying to make feelings of sadness go away, try to divert your loved one's thoughts to happy memories and enjoyable hobbies. Work at making your loved one feel warmth and love for the remainder of his or her days. Working together on a scrapbook or family photo album can be an enjoyable activity that calls to mind hundreds of good memories. It also helps your loved one feel that he or she is leaving something behind that the family can enjoy for years to come.

Show your support, understanding and caring for one another during this time, and be reassuring, making organized plans for who will visit and how often, and arrange some activities together to look forward to in the near future.

The move to a nursing home represents a stage of life that requires many changes, but the elderly person still has a vital role in the family and should be reminded of this as often as possible. By working together, a successful transition is indeed possible, and can serve to strengthen family bonds and create new precious memories.

Find out what services are offered by the nursing home in the way of allowing a gradual introduction to the facility before the move. Are there meetings you can attend together, social activities, or other means of helping your elderly family member to feel more comfortable and confident ahead of time? Psychological preparation, and a clear sense of what to expect will help you all figure out how to make a successful transition to a nursing home.

Oddly enough, the hardest part of moving to a nursing home may be dealing with the change in scenery. After many years in a family home, an institutional environment can feel harsh and unwelcoming. Helping your loved one to personalize his or her room can go a long way towards making it feel like home. Family photos, favorite plants, and familiar blankets and pillows can make a room more personal. A small stereo or headset with favorite music might be helpful to some residents, and many facilities will even allow family members to bring a beloved pet in for visits.

Helping the staff get to know your loved one can also help make the transition easier. While it is important to ensure that medical information gets to those who need it, try sharing some personal facts, too. If your loved one had a particular love for gardening, you may find that a nurse on staff has the same interest. Those types of connections can make a nursing home feel more like a regular home.

Just as every resident is different, every transition is different. You may find that your loved one's needs are different than someone else's, and you might make mistakes, but the fact that you are making an effort is the most important part of all.