Sometimes our elders appear to become stubborn and uncooperative as they age. Frustration due to loss of independence and loss of ability to do the things they used to be able to do are just two of the reasons. Other reasons may include depression (over the same or different losses), dementia, certain medications, isolation, anger, fear of dying, and (if they are still living at home) fear of being placed in a nursing home.
Children of aging parents, as well as caregivers, can sometimes find it quite frustrating to motivate the seniors in their life to perform even basic daily activities. If you find yourself in this situation, consider these strategies for coaching elders to do things that they don't want to do. Some of these strategies will work with dementia patients and some won't. Those that won't will be quite obvious.
Considering your loved one's state of mind is the first step in building a positive relationship with them. Depression is a common reason why seniors lose their motivation. They may no longer feel that they have reason to get out of bed in the morning and resent the fact that they now have people telling them how they must live. Or perhaps they are being heavily medicated causing them to become lethargic as a result. Creating coaching strategies that are personalized to the senior with whom you are working is the key to success in the care of that person.
Don't feel that you must get your parent or loved one out of bed early in the morning when they'd rather stay put (unless they are going to be attending day care or have a medical appointment.) They can easily enjoy their breakfast at bedside or can watch a television positioned close by. I absolutely detest walking into an assisted living facility or nursing home only to see all their elderly patients lined up in wheelchairs, heads slumped over, staring at nothing. Who would want to do that? And what good does it accomplish?
Building a friendly rapport early in the day can be very helpful in gaining compliance in the latter part of the day. Even if your time is limited and you want to accomplish a list of tasks as quickly as possible, taking a moment to have a casual conversation first can actually make your life a lot easier.
When it comes time to address specific tasks, begin by educating your loved one on the importance of that task first. Whether they have to eat certain foods to maintain their health, or exercise to strengthen their heart, explaining the purpose of the task can help to motivate them to start and maintain a program.
Medication administration can often become a point of contention. One of the reasons may be that they may are difficult to swallow. Offer medications with pudding, applesauce or a nutritional supplement such as Ensure because water is not the best liquid to use for this. Basically something with a little "slime" to it will work much better.
Goal setting can also be a great motivator for seniors. Keep in mind that goals give us a reason to do something and elders can sometimes feel that there is no point in what they are doing. If exercise is the objective for a senior family member or patient, consider charting their progress and posting their accomplishments in a place where they will see them throughout the day. An occupational therapist made several home visits to my father to help him with his balance. My father responded very positively when he saw that his balance was improving, even though only slightly.
Learning what activities your care recipient enjoys can also be helpful. As a coach, you can then integrate them into their day and use them as motivation to get through the more mundane tasks that they are faced with.
Praising their efforts is also a great coaching strategy. It is important for caregivers to remember that the elderly person that they are working may think that small accomplishments such as walking up and down a hall are not that impressive. After all, they were young and physically fit once themselves. However, sincere and heartfelt praise can change their attitude immediately.
Perhaps the most effective coaches (caregivers) are the ones who use humor as a way to break the ice. A good-natured disposition is likely to brighten anyone's mood. That is why it's important to remember to take some time out for yourself in order to be able to maintain that positive attitude which will allow you to maintain that good nature.
穢 2010 Shelley Webb/The Intentional Caregiver
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