Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Can I Make My Mom Happy?


I had an email once from a Jewish family whose elderly mother had moved from Brooklyn to Florida.

"Our mother doesn't seem to be enjoying Florida. Her former friends ignore her and won't spend time with her. She's very upset. We're thinking of bringing her to Israel to live in an assisted living home near us. Do you think she'll be happy here?"

The question of a parent's happiness is one that troubles good children. When they think about what would work for their mother or father in old age, they wonder about the happiness factor. That's because they're considerate adults who want happiness for that parent.

My answer to that email was to ask what capacity had their mother shown for happiness so far in her life. Being happy, or not, is only partially to do with circumstances. It tends also to be deeply connected with each person's generosity of spirit, lack of resentment and general willingness to deal with the difficulties of life.

If your elderly parent has shown a general tendency in life to embrace happiness, contentment, warm relationships with others and a non-blaming attitude, the chances are good that your good choices in care will help restore temporarily-disrupted happiness.

If your parent has tended not to be particularly happy in general throughout your life, this is likely to continue. In fact, perhaps unfairly, I tend to assume that when someone asks me if an action would make their parent happy, the answer is almost bound to be "No."

That's because asking that question suggests to me their parent habitually is not happy. So how do we choose a good setting for our parent's old age? Consider the following.

Five Home Possibilities:
1. Living with you;
2. Living next door to you;
3. Living in independent-yet-sheltered housing;
4. Living elsewhere, with a care-manager or friend overseeing;
5. Living in assisted living.

Never feel guilty about not taking a parent home with you. Let's face it, you know how they are. So you know whether their presence helps your happiness, let alone theirs.

Don't make the mistake of taking a parent into your house but continuing to live a largely absent uninvolved lifestyle. That almost guarantees unhappiness, because they'll be lonely.

Besides which, frankly, you flatter yourself if you think your presence will be enough to keep your parents happy. No, they want a life like the life they want. It's probably slower. It involves a different culture, music, food, activities. Even if they like their grandchildren, they may not do well with their lifestyle all around them.

I'm not saying old people should live apart. Not at all. Over my years as a caregiver to elders, however, I have learned the comfort they get from their way of living. I was always pretty much against generational separation. Now I do see that there is a generational comfort level going on when people have shared similar times and similar history.

If you make the move to bring your parents into your own home, be sure they can mix with other elders and that you are clear about maintaining your own lifestyle. If that prospect doesn't lift your heart to think about, then don't even think about doing it.

Consider possibilities 3, 4 and 5 instead. Don't make your parents' happiness your goal. Make their safety, health and welfare your target.

Leave happiness to them to sort out. That is, after all, their responsibility.

Choosing Care Homes in Scotland - Edinburgh Care Homes


If you're looking for a care home in Scotland, you'll find plenty to choose from no matter which area you want to live in. This article looks at Edinburgh and some of the care homes in this attractive city.

Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland, is best-known for its historic Old Town, which includes its most famous landmark, Edinburgh Castle, on the Royal Mile. Much of Edinburgh has been designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site, because of its historical significance, but it also has excellent contemporary amenities including shops, restaurants, cafes and cinemas. The city is also famous for its annual Edinburgh Festival, which attracts world-class comedians, dancers, musicians and authors, and also includes the Military Tattoo.

You'll find many different types of care home to choose from in Edinburgh including residential care homes, care homes with nursing and specialist care homes. Care Homes in Edinburgh

Edinburgh has a wide range of residential care homes. Clermiston House (93 Parkgrove Terrace, Edinburgh) is a large residential home, operated by the City of Edinburgh Council. This five-story, purpose-built care home offers single rooms which have their own washbasins, but residents share bathrooms. There are a number of communal rooms and Clermiston House also incorporates a day center.

There are plenty of activities on offer in the care home and day-trips are also arranged. A hairdresser visits the home twice each week and a mobile library services also makes regular visits.

Edinburgh also has some excellent nursing homes. Ashley Court (33 Craighouse Terrace, Edinburgh), for example, is a 60-bedded care home with nursing, located in the residential district of Morningside in the south-west of Edinburgh.

This nursing home, operated by the Randolph Hill Group, is purpose-built and has 50 single and 5 double bedrooms, all of which are en-suite. There are communal lounges and three dining rooms, and residents can also enjoy the home's private, landscaped gardens. There is a varied program of activities, and the home organizes regular outings in the company minibus.

The home is staffed by qualified nurses and carers, who are available 24 hours a day, and all bedrooms have a nurse call system for peace of mind.

Specialist care homes in Edinburgh include: * CIC Drummond Place (40/1, 40/2, 40/3 Drummond Place, Edinburgh) - a small facility in a town house which has been divided into 3 flats for 8 people with learning difficulties, autism and epilepsy. Carers are available 24 hours per day.

* Leonard Cheshire (161 - 163 Newhaven Road, Edinburgh) - a 7-bedded care home for adults with physical disabilities. The care home is operated by Leonard Cheshire Services and is located in a residential area of the city.

* Barony House (13a/13b Dublin Street, Edinburgh) - a 9-bedded care home for adults with mental health problems. Carers are available 24 hours per day and the home is operated by the Barony Housing Association.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

10 Ways to Stay Mentally Active


I decided to write this article after an experience I had when I went home for Thanksgiving. I'm a Licensed Nursing Home Administrator with a passion for taking care of the elderly...both at work and at home... both strangers and family.

My mom, who is approaching 60, has left her keys in the keyhole on the outside of the door to her condo several times... Overnight Even!! Scary, huh?

When I went home for Thanksgiving, I noticed she has written "KEYS" on a piece of tape and stuck it to the inside of the door at eye level. Of course, this will only be a reminder for a short period of time (evidenced by the fact that she left them on the outside while we were visiting!), because this tape will become part of the door, thereby causing her to no longer notice it.

Aging can be a frightening process for some. Some may see the downside to aging as less physical mobility, mental decline, and illnesses. As we all know, however, there is certainly an upside, which includes more financial stability, retirement, and grandchildren! There are several ways to ensure more pros than cons when it comes to aging. One way would be to...

Stay mentally active!

Your lifestyle may be the key to slowing cognitive decline. Studies have shown that older adults who are cognitively active were 2.6 times less likely to develop Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia than those who were not.

The following list spells out 10 ways to stay mentally active.

1. Crossword Puzzles: Stimulates the brain, which can cause us to grow more neurons

2. Attend Lectures: Forces the brain to do a different kind of mental processing by listening to very new information

3. Go to Plays: Forces the brain to do a different kind of mental processing by listening to and watching something very new

4. Read and Write Daily: Preserves cognitive function

5. Gardening: M.Vaccae, a harmless bacteria found in soil, activates brain cells to release mood-lifting chemicals

6. Board Games: Stimulates the brain, which can cause us to grow more neurons

7. Video Games: Stimulates the brain, which can cause us to grow more neurons

8. Stay Curious and Involved: Exposes you to the opportunity to learn something new, which will force the brain to do a different kind of mental processing

9. Enroll in a Course/Class: Forces the brain to do a different kind of mental processing by studying and applying a new skill

10. Remain Socially Active: Makes mental activity enjoyable and can reduce stress hormone levels, which helps maintain healthy connections among brain cells

All of these activities have a bonus effect besides brain stimulation: They are all confidence and self-esteem boosters. If nothing else is gained, you're sure to have fun!

Qualities Needed to Become a Nursing Assistant


Do you have an overwhelming desire to help people? Are you compassionate? If you answer yes to both questions then you have the perfect qualities to become a nurse assistant. The position of a nurse assistant is not easy but it is rewarding. When you first become an assistant you may feel overwhelmed by the amount of work you are expected to do and the fast pace you are expected to do it. However once the work is done you will always feel a satisfaction that will only motivate you to work harder and become more compassionate towards the people you are taking care of.

When you decide to become a nurses assistant you must be serious and zealous about your work. If you choose the job just because it is a well paid job, then it may not be for you. You can't accept the responsibly of the job and then be lazy or behave rudely to your patients just because you have to much work or you don't like the people assigned to you. When you do not do your job with satisfaction, unfortunately the ones who suffer are the patients, the people you are supposed to be helping to feel better.

If you are a hundred percent positive that you want to become a nursing assistant you must have an almost never ending supply of patience and maturity. Why is patient and maturity necessary? When you become a nurse assistant, everyday you will experience task that will put your patience and maturity level to the test. (When you work in hospitals or in nursing homes, you will often come face to face with patients that are verbally and physically abusive towards doctors, nurses, and nurse assistants.) Another important quality you must posses is strong communications skills and the ability to work well with others. Teamwork is a necessity in the medical field, therefore if you prefer working alone then unfortunately a career as a nurse assistant is not for you.

Know that you know all the qualities a nurse assistant must posses; let's discuss what you need to become a nurse assistant. The process of becoming a nurse assistant is different for every person; depending on the place you want to work (Hospitals, clinics, or nursing homes are the most common places.)

Often, healthcare facilities will advertise free paid train courses in newspapers, this means that you study and work at the same time. (Qualified candidates usually do not have any kind of experience in the medical field.) You can also attend classes on community colleges or the Red Cross. Wile this classes last longer and are more detailed you will have to pay anywhere from $300 to $600.

Once you find a suitable program for you, learn as much as possible. However, keep in mind that nurse assistants perfect there skills mostly through hands on care. (While you are doing the actual process.) If you read this article and decided you have what it takes, then don't waist any more time. There are hundreds of sick people you can help.

Senior Assistance - Identifying Needs While Maintaining Dignity, Independence and Participation


Discussing issues regarding assisted living or long-term care services, home safety, personal finances, personal hygiene requirements and funeral arrangements is not an easy conversation to have but it is an important one if you want to help your loved ones ease into successful retirement options. When implementing the changes it must leave your loved one feeling that their dignity is intact, they still have the freedom to make their own choices and are actively participating in the process.

These issues are becoming more and more relevant because Canada Statistics is showing the senior population is growing at a rapid pace with 25% of our population being in the 70+-age range by the year 2016. What this means is many of us will be finding ourselves in the position of dealing with these issues while balancing current workloads and family responsibilities.

In talking with seniors, they too feel the inadequacy of not being able to do as much as they used too. They recognize they have a hard time asking for assistance because they do not want to be a burden. They feel embarrassed about the betrayal of loss of their bodily functions and the awkwardness of receiving help in ways they used to do in raising their children. They know they need help but feel most uncomfortable asking for it. After all, they have been the leaders and doers for most of our lives and taking a step back is not easy to do. The fear of loss of dignity weighs heavy on the heart.

So how can you assist your loved one with the least amount of emotional turmoil and the greatest level of success? Remain focused on the importance of your loved ones need to maintain their dignity, independence, and need to participate when exploring the available options of home health care.

Ask your loved one what they think they need, how much they need and when they think they will be needing it in order to help them to retain their dignity. Great listening skills and repeating back what you have heard is a very important and a special gift you can give them. The rewards, in the long term, will be open lines of communication.

It is vital to understand that the moment we come out of the womb we embark on our life long road of independence. The aging process attempts to remove this from us creating emotions of depression and fear. Each of us gains our sense of self worth from the tasks and activities we are able to accomplish. Maintaining this, even on a small scale, is very important to good mental health and maintaining a semblance of dignity. Ask your loved ones what they feel they can still do, how much of it they can do, and what assistance they would feel comfortable with to maintain their independence. Add your own concerns, based upon observations, and work together on a plan to resolve all challenges in the most effective manner.

Finally, have your loved ones participate in the role of their own care to the level they can manage. They may not be able to make an entire meal but maybe they can still sit at a table and assist in the preparations. They may not be able to lift heavy boxes but they can still direct where they want the boxes to go. They may not be able to walk a marathon but maybe a walk in the park or simply up and down the driveway to retrieve the mail is still manageable.

Maintaining strong social interactions and the awareness in their own abilities is critical in maintaining strong mental health. Learning to do for our loved ones only what is needed, not what they can still do for themselves, removes their fear of loss of control. This will go a long way to helping loved ones in maintaining personal independence for as long a time as possible.

Where Do You Stand on the Breast Cancer Issue?


According to research, breast cancer is a hundred times more frequent in women than in men. In the US, is one of the most commonly diagnosed cancers among women. Male breast cancer is rare on the other hand. In fact, it only comprises about 1% of all cases. Considering the figures presented, this issue is something that we must not take for granted.

Symptoms vary. One of these includes the formation of a lump or a non-painful mass just below the nipple area. There are times some people experience pain and swelling of their breast. Changes in the skin may also take place in the areas around the nipple. This consists of the nipple's redness, scaling and retraction. Also, there could be instances of dark fluid/bloody discharge. When you think you are experiencing any one of these symptoms, it is best to undergo a breast cancer checkup. At present, there are many related examinations which could help correctly diagnose your condition. Although cancer is one of the leading causes of death, treatment is available.

As people get older, the possibility of getting breast cancer increases. In order to decrease the possibility of acquiring this kind of cancer, we have to undergo regular screening tests. Annual mammogram and breast examination enables early detection of any breast cancer sign. In addition to this, we should also understand our risk factors. Here are the groups of people who are more likely to acquire breast cancer.

1. People with personal or family history cancer should be more cautious. Even if a person is already cured, cancer cells may come back.
2. Can be inherited. A person is most likely to inherited through his genes.
3. Women who had their menstruation before the age of 12 and those who went through menopausal period after 55 have an increased possibilities . This is because they have been more exposed to ovarian hormones.
4. White women are more likely to have it than Latinas, Asians and Afro-Americans.
5. Women who never got pregnant and those who were able to have their first full term pregnancy over the age of 30 are more likely to have breast cancer. A full term pregnancy offers protection since it ceases menstruation for nine months.

These are some of the facts which can certainly increase your level of awareness regarding the breast cancer issue. It is always better to be well informed especially if it is regarding health matters. Being familiar with the early signs and symptoms can stop the cancer from developing. Also, when a person is aware of his chances of getting it, he may be able to adjust his lifestyle for his own good. This is also considered as a form of prevention. Through educating ourselves with these simple but important information, we may be able to save ourselves or our loved ones.

Why Money Worries Are Keeping Seniors Up at Night and Hurting Their Health


If you are feeling like Chicken Little, you have every right to feel this way. With seniors seeing all of their hard earned nest egg disappearing they are in a crisis and they are feel the pain? This article was taken from a noted person who deals with the senior's health issues on a Daily basis.

I want to thank them for bring this issue out so many can get the help they need. If and when you are felling like you have no options think about this. You work you entire life to pay for your home, let it pay you now and not worry about what you are going to leave your family. Think about how they will feel if you are financially doing well, and can afford to live without being a burden on them.

You can accomplish this by receiving a Reverse Mortgage. It often is at the moment when an elderly patient is about to be discharged from the hospital that he or she first faces the prospect of having to pay the total long-term expenses of either nursing-home or home care services.

This easily can come to $50,000 or more a year -- at a time when the primary objective for any patient and family should be excellent care and emotional support, not a desperate fight to preserve one's income and savings. It widely is known among older Americans, their families and their friends that a long-term illness could wipe out a patient's savings. Long-term care includes many different support services aimed at helping chronically ill patients either in their homes or in a nursing home.

Medicare does not pay for long-term care. The only government assistance for the expense of long-term care is the health insurance for the poor, Medicaid. Tragically, some families would rather risk substandard facilities for their loved ones rather than choose the Medicaid option. As a former investigator for the New York State Attorney General's Medicaid Fraud Control Unit, I have seen firsthand many victims of the system.

One elderly woman, who was not poor enough to qualify for Medicaid, was exhumed from her final resting place to determine whether she had been starved to death by the operator of an illegal nursing home whose monthly fees were less than half of its licensed competitors. Unfortunately, this case is not an isolated example of a family under duress resorting to underground providers of care to shield a loved one's assets. Long-term care, whether at home or in a nursing home, often can wipe out the life savings of a chronically ill patient in one year or less.

Under current eligibility rules for Medicaid coverage of long-term nursing care, a recipient usually may not have assets in excess of $2,000. This has led many Americans to manipulate the Medicaid system by transferring assets to heirs and beneficiaries in an effort to avoid spending their life savings on nursing-home care. Some Americans, desperate to preserve an estate, have taken extreme measures such as divorce or spousal refusal, whereby one spouse refuses to pay for the long-term care needs of the other.

Some have been able to use loopholes in the Medicaid system to transfer part of their life savings before they apply for Medicaid. Others have stopped saving and simply spend all of their income without regard for the future. In effect, some people are using Medicaid as their long-term care insurer, while others who do not game the system are systematically impoverished as they pay privately for their own care.

Then, having finally qualified, these people are reduced to a state of humiliating poverty and dependence on government support. Many cannot afford to pay the transportation costs of visits from their relatives or to upgrade their living quarters. This perverse system rewards deception and punishes law-abiding citizens. Financing long-term care is supposed to be the responsibility of the patient.

In reality, the burden falls on the taxpayer, because the payments for almost 70 percent of the long-term care needs of older patients are paid for by Medicare and Medicaid. Many hardworking and independent older Americans in need of long-term care have contributed a lifetime of energy and dedication to their communities and the country. These people and their families do not want to be on medical welfare. The optimal solution for improving long-term care is a dramatic increase in the number of private payers.

The Institute for Social Economic Studies has developed a proposal to solve this problem. Under the institute's plan, every dollar paid out by the patient would protect a dollar's worth of assets from the draconian requirements of Medicaid eligibility. For example, if a patient with life savings and property totaling $100,000 spent $50,000 for long-term care, the remaining $50,000 of assets would be protected from eligibility rules, providing the patient would otherwise qualify for Medicaid. Although some of a patient's assets would be protected, all of a patient's income would be used to pay for long-term care under this plan.

In addition, to further promote private funding, this plan would protect all of a patient's remaining assets (not income) after he or she pays for three years of nursing-home care or six years of full-time home care. Under this arrangement; elderly patient not their relatives would have control over their hard earned savings and could use them to purchase personal items and luxuries currently out of reach to many. The numbers of older Americans will more than double in the next 32 years. By year 2030, the elderly will account for 20 percent of the population and number more than 80 million. It is urgent that we develop a solution for long-term care now.

If we don't act, everyone -- workers, our children, our parents and our grandparents could pay a severe price. Let's avoid this tragedy while time is still on our side by older seniors who own homes receiving proceed from a Reverse Mortgage they can shield themselves from financial disaster.

Some are having trouble sleeping, she says, others are not eating well, and a few have taken up smoking again. But most say they no longer feel in control of their financial future and well-being after the wild market swings of the past few weeks. Constant news reports on home foreclosures, bank failures, the credit crunch, a $700 billion bailout for the financial industry and the steady erosion of retirement savings have jolted anxious and easygoing types alike. But for those nearer to retirement, or living on fixed incomes, the stakes are higher-and so are stress levels. According to an American Psychological Association (APA) poll released in October, the miserable economy "significantly stressed" a whopping 80 percent of Americans in September, up from 66 percent in April. The survey compared the stress levels of more than 2,500 adults nationwide.

Among the respondents, women reportedly felt more anguish about declining economic conditions than men did-84 percent compared with 75 percent. And those over age 63 reported more stress (86 percent) than boomers ages 44 to 62 (83 percent) and those ages 18 to 29 (71 percent). However, when it came to day-to-day pocketbook issues, the youngest age group (83 percent) reported being more worried than boomers (79 percent) and those 63-plus (73 percent). A separate survey of working adults, released Oct. 27, found that 92 percent said financial worries were keeping them up at night.

The poll of 1,137 people, conducted by Com Psych, a provider of employee assistance programs, said the biggest concern for respondents was the high cost of living (30 percent),credit card debt (29 percent), mortgage payments (14 percent) and declining retirement accounts (13 percent). Alan Keck, a psychologist in Altamonte Springs, Fla., says the mounting stress his clients are carrying has "complicated their treatment." He hears growing complaints about sleep disturbances, unintended weight loss, depressed mood and obsessive thoughts. "I can tell you that the economy has played havoc with the plans of a few of my clients-everything from delaying the completion of the divorce process because of inability to sell a jointly owned house, to full-blown anxiety and depression syndromes over threatened loss of retirement savings," he says.

For older workers, a declining portfolio can be enough to provoke fear and panic. One woman in her 60s, who is planning to retire in two years, says she gave in to that fear two weeks ago when she bailed out of the stock market and opted for safer investments in money market funds and CDs. "I was constantly worried that I might lose what I've built up," says the woman, a publishing industry professional who asked to remain anonymous. "I don't know if I did the right thing by pulling out of the market; we'll see how things shake out.

I just wanted to preserve what I had. Uncertainty when you're nearing retirement is very stressful." So in closing I want to again thank them for posting this article to help seniors around the world know that they are not alone. To find out how you can increase the money you need for retirement and how a Reverse Mortgage can help stabilize your future see the facts.